Rising in Love: How Radical Self-Love Heals the Wounds of Emotional Abuse and Weaponized Childhood Trauma 

The Silent Scars No One Sees Emotional abuse and weaponized childhood trauma can devastate your inner world while the outside world tells you to “just move on.” The truth is, survivors of emotional abuse don’t only lose their sense of safety—they often lose everything: family, home, community, identity, and even the right to their own story. They carry the weight of gaslighting, victim-shaming, and isolation, all while fighting to reclaim their sanity in silence. 

This blog is an acknowledgment of every soul, including myself, who’s been made to feel too much, too sensitive, too broken. It’s an invitation into something revolutionary: Radical Self-Love—a healing force powerful enough to dismantle internalized shame and guide you home to yourself.

The Truth About Emotional Abuse & Weaponized Childhood Trauma 

Emotional abuse is often dismissed because there are no visible scars. Yet its impact is deep and long-lasting. When abuse is emotional, subtle, and normalized—especially from caregivers or partners—it becomes insidious. 

Weaponized childhood trauma occurs when your pain, fears, or vulnerabilities are used against you—by the very people who were meant to protect you. 

This can sound like:  

  • “You’re just too sensitive.”  
  • “That never happened.”  
  • “You’re the problem.”  
  • “Stop blaming your childhood, your abuser, the abuse, etc.” 

Over time, this distorts your ability to trust your instincts, recall events clearly, or feel safe in your body. You internalize guilt for simply existing in pain.

The Devastation of the Long Recovery 

There is no quick fix. Healing emotional abuse is not linear. It often includes: 

  • Losing your family or chosen family  
  • Being scapegoated or exiled  
  • Losing your job, partner, or home due to emotional instability or abuse aftermath  
  • Navigating PTSD, C-PTSD, anxiety, depression, betrayal trauma, complex grief and the fallout from triggers, over active stress hormones, an often damaged nervous system, and resulting poor health  
  • Years of therapy, rebuilding trust, and learning how to feel safe again  

 Just when you start to feel stable again, symptoms can resurface—often unexpectedly—and to others, it might look like you’re flaky, making excuses, or not who you used to be. The inability to “be normal” or to show up as the person you know yourself to be can feel devastating. Healing can look like two steps forward and twelve steps back, again and again, until your brain and nervous system begin to re-regulate. For many survivors, though, there’s no return to who they once were. Trauma alters the nervous system, the sense of self, and often one’s entire worldview in ways that are difficult to put into words. Victim-shaming only deepens the wound. Far too many suffer in silence, and even more never receive the support they need. It’s heartbreaking. Society often protects abusers—especially when they’re charismatic, well-respected, or part of the family. Survivors are pressured to keep quiet to preserve appearances, uphold traditions, or maintain the illusion of “peace.” But that forced silence, and the loss of one’s identity and voice, only magnify the already profound impact of emotional trauma.

This is not peace—it is spiritual violence. Be kind. Practice compassion and listen without judgement. The mind is a tricky playground. Stability and healing are possible but often hard won. Radical Self-Love is a powerful way forward.

What Is Radical Self-Love? 

Radical Self-Love is not bubble baths and affirmations. It is the radical act of returning to your wholeness after being convinced you were broken. Coined and expanded by thinkers like Bell Hooks, Audre Lorde, and Sonya Renee Taylor, radical self-love is:  

  • Reclaiming your worth independent of productivity, perfectionism, or approval  
  • Honoring your story without shame  
  • Setting boundaries that disrupt cycles of harm  
  • Reparenting yourself with gentleness, structure, and compassion  
  • Choosing your truth even when others reject it  

Radical self-love is not an ego-trip—it’s a lifeline. It’s a survival strategy and a sacred reclamation of personal power. It draws from the wisdom of positive psychology and the science of neuroplasticity, offering us the ability to reshape how we experience ourselves and the world after trauma. In each present moment, there is power to heal. The path is not linear, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but these practices have helped me move forward, even through the darkest chapters. I share this not as an expert looking down from a pedestal, but as someone who knows what it means to rebuild from the rubble. They say you should coach from experience—and so I speak of self-love, forgiveness, gratitude, nature, and creativity, because these are the tools that supported my own healing. Maybe, just maybe, my words will reach someone who needs them. And if my story helps even one soul begin their healing, then every step of this journey has been worth it.

How Radical Self-Love Helps You Heal 

1.  It Helps You Identify Gaslighting and Emotional Manipulation 

Self-love sharpens your self-awareness. You begin to notice when someone’s words don’t match their actions, when your feelings are being invalidated, or when your intuition is being undermined.

2.  It Empowers You to Set Boundaries Without Guilt 

Self-love teaches you that protecting your energy is not cruelty. It’s care. Boundaries aren’t punishment—they are declarations of what you will and will not allow in your sacred space.

3.  It Restores Your Connection to Your Inner Child 

Radical self-love allows you to become the loving parent you never had. You learn to comfort your inner child, validate their emotions, and celebrate their resilience. 

4.  It Rebuilds Your Life from the Inside Out 

Even if you’ve lost everything—home, family, friends—you can rebuild. You are not empty. You are fertile ground for something new, sacred, and soul-aligned. Self-love gives you the tools to make different choices rooted in your truth.

Practical Ways to Begin This Healing 

1. Create a Safe Sanctuary 

Whether it’s a room, a corner, or your journal—have a place where no one else’s opinions or voices matter but your own. 

2. Daily Affirmation Practice Use statements like:  

  • “I am allowed to take up space.”  
  • “My pain is real, and I honor it.”  
  • “I choose me, every time.” 

3. Therapy or Trauma-Informed Coaching 

Work with someone who understands emotional abuse and complex trauma. Support is not weakness—it is sacred self-investment. 

4. Write Your Own Narrative Take your story back. 

Write, speak, draw, or dance it. You are the author now—not your abuser. 

5. Cultivate Fierce Community 

Find people who do not require you to be small to be loved. Seek spaces where vulnerability is strength and truth-telling is honored.

You Are Not Broken—You Were Betrayed 

Your story is not a tragedy—it’s a revolution in progress. The fact that you are here, reading this, seeking truth and love, is proof that your spirit is unbreakable. Radical self-love doesn’t erase the past, but it transforms how you carry it. You may have lost people, places, even parts of yourself. But you have not lost your light. And with love, patience, and truth, you will rise again—stronger, softer, and more whole than ever before. 

Need a hand as you heal? Visit MERAKI Eclectic Coaching to explore personalized coaching programs that support emotional healing, radical self-love, and your journey home to yourself. You don’t have to do this alone.

To book at session or see what programs we have to offer go to: 

https://paperbell.me/vichelle-mixon-1

Further Reading & Support  

  • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk  
  • The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor  
  • All About Love by bell hooks  
  • Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker  
  • Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child by John Bradshaw